thoughts

hola,

hmm i should be sleeping right now but my hair is still wet from taking a shower (good excuse huh). i should've been asleep a couple of hours ago due to my droopy eyes and countless yawns per second.  but i can't go to sleep...i don't know why but i'm just in this weird melancholy mood. i want to say everything i'm thinking at this moment but it would take up this whole page and no one would want to read that. even if i wanted to, i don't think i could cause a.) i don't think i can even sort out my own thoughts and b.) i don't want anyone knowing what's actually in this brain of mine. hmm ya. i really think there is something wrong with me. wait, no i really think i have a lot to learn but i just want to learn everything God has in store for me all at once cause i'm tired of learning everything the hard way. not to mention, i'm a bit impatient. looking back at the (almost) 20 years of my life, i feel like i learn everything the hard way. hopefully this doesn't sound like i'm complaining because i'm not trying to make this a pity party. anyways, i always wanted to be one of those people who learns things the easy way. in other words, you know those people who make everything look so easy? does that make any sense at all? maybe this is part of the whole growing up process. i wish i can just.... hmm i don't know. i can't even finish that sentence cause honestly my thoughts are so jumbled up right now. maybe i feel like this because i can never sort them out or maybe its the lack of sleep. maybe its the fact that i miss my brother a lot (don't get flattered by this comment, kei). i guess that's it. if he was here, i'd be in his room right now bothering him to listen to everything so he can  help sort them out for me like the good old days. i'd probably not feel bad too for drowning him in my disarrayed thoughts cause i mean he's my brother. it's not like i can do that with anyone else... i mean i could but after the first hour or so, they'd be putting plugs in their ears. i mean i think my brother would love to do that but i just won't allow it from him. haha  sorry if you guys had to read this. it was really just for me to make myself feel better. none of this probably made sense to any of you anyway cause it barely makes sense to me. at the time i didn't know it but maybe i titled this blog yuri+etc. so i can write about what's going on in my head once in a blue moon. hahaha but i can assure you that there won't be a lot of these kinds of posts in the near future. i bet my journal is feeling a bit lonely right now. anyways, i can't wait until august. it's always my favorite month. why you might ask? it's my birthday month, kei always comes home at this time of the year, and you kinda feel like you have to live it up cause its the last month of summer.  alright looks like my hair is kinda dry now. 

yuri